Let me start by bragging a little on my kid. She received her report card yesterday and got so many good marks! I am one very proud mommy!!
Now, let me explain the “I” in my title… The kindergarten report card uses letters: P= Proficient, I= In Progress, and N= Needs More Time to Develop. There’s an “I” on her report card that has been consistent last school year and so far this year. Am I upset about it? Not really. Here’s why…
Rae’s infamous “I” is in the box marked Self Control. As any parent knows, self control is learned in life and isn’t an easy task for some. Rae’s struggle has always been in this area. We’ve done exercises, activities, research, therapy, you name it to try to help her with this. It’s gotten better over time, but there’s still those moments. Here are some things that we’ve tried to help her with self control:
1) Marshmallow Game / Bubble Pop: sit a marshmallow in front of the child. Tell them not to eat it until the timer goes off. (We did 5 minutes.) After the time is up, allow the child to eat the marshmallow. As for the bubbles, blow them around your child but tell them not to pop any by moving around. Of course after the allotted time of not popping them, let them have fun!
2) Make expectations clear and be consistent with consequences. Rae knows what is expected of her. I have tried to get everyone that interacts with her on a daily basis on the same page. There are still a few bumps on this path, but for the most part it’s smoothing out. This also coincides with the next item on the list.
3) Routine! She thrives on a stable and predictable routine. The slightest change can throw her whole day off. We talk about our day before we start it, and discuss the events of it before bed. If anything has to change from our norm, she is aware of it in advance if at all possible.
4) Reminders. When Rae has a “moment” as I like to call them, I point it out to her. Then I remind her of past consequences from this same action. This one has been tough because she tries to give a logical explanation for what’s happening and then talk her way out of the known consequence. (I’m in for a long road with this one! 🙂) I stick to my reminders and consequences, and usually we get back on track.
Side note: I like to create a maintain a good relationship with Rae’s teachers. This includes school, dance, etc. If she’s having an off day, they are made aware of it. Rae knows when this communication is made by either witnessing it or her teachers mentioning it to her. That connection between home and wherever she may be has been a huge help for her. I am so very grateful for the support she receives and the time they invest in her well-being.
I know her self control will come. It’s just going to take a little longer for her to establish. This is chalked up to not only her ADHD, but to her being a child. She is an emotional little bundle of love. And I look forward to every step we take to help her grow, even the tough ones.
It takes a village! ❤️